Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
