I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
