You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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