She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
