Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
