My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
