what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
