I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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