So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
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Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
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Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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