How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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