There is no way he is gay with that hair.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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