I heard we made out
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
And then he peed in my hair
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