Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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