I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
