Do you still have your period?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
