i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Success! We fucked roommates!
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