I puked a lego.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
