im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
