i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
my poor anus
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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