Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
