Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
