I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Randomize
