....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
