I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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