just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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