Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
