He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
