margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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