bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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