Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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