I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
