All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
this hospital has no fireball
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
