i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
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I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
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Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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