and i looked up. we had an audience...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
