I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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