I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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