Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
