false alarm. still invincible.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
