alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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