If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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