u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
