small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
