I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
