Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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