The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
