I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic