a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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