no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
