Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
