I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
