He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
