I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
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Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
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Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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