K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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