I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
