it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
