broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize