Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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