I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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