just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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