We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
