I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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