I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
