Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
