Will you blow on my dice?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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