This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
