ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
false alarm. still invincible.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
