the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
